Acedia.

Have you ever found yourself completely bored with life? Restless, disinterested, numb? Many centuries ago, monks had a word for this: Acedia. They also called it the “noonday demon” because it didn’t lurk in the shadows of night. Instead, it haunted the waking hours with either paralyzing apathy or frantic escapism.

The Greek root of the word means absence of care…as in, you simply don’t care about anything anymore. It’s actually more like an inability to care. One author says that “when life becomes too challenging and engagement with others too demanding, acedia offers a kind of spiritual morphine: You know the pain is there, yet you can’t rouse yourself to give a damn.”

These days we would tend to call it depression. But this kind of depression can’t be cured by a pill; it’s an imbalance of the soul rather than an imbalance of the body. And I expect that many have experienced it at some time or another. Maybe you’re experiencing it now.

I have known acedia at times, and it can be hard to break out of its grip. But possible, which is why I’m writing this.

Part of the power of acedia comes from its mysteriousness. We wonder if we’re broken, wonder if we have failed, wonder if we can be fixed. You may feel spiritual shame, as if your faith isn’t strong enough to withstand the disappointments and disillusionments that beset us. And you’re completely baffled as to how to find your way out.

I’ll get straight to the point. Acedia calls for two things: courage and awakening. It’s like the soul has simply quit, given up, and cast aside hope for cynicism. You can’t “will” yourself out of depression, but you can rouse yourself from acedia.

We could describe this state as “spiritual amnesia”—we have forgotten who we really are and who God really is. So the cure is remembering. Re-member-ing. Reconnecting to the truest and deepest parts of ourselves. This is part of the job of the Holy Spirit. Comforter, Counselor, Advocate. The Spirit of Truth. The one who “reminds us,” the apostle John tells us, of what is trustworthy. How we need this!

Acedia is an invitation to go to the “desert,” figuratively, just as the monks did literally, and rediscover the God-Who-Lives-In-Us. What does that look like in our world? It calls, paradoxically, for both solitude and community.

You must step off your gerbil wheel and enter into silence and stillness where you can be honest about where you are. Solitude invites quieting your inner noise long enough to listen for the still, small Voice of love. From this kind of ruthless honesty, you must bare your soul to a trustworthy companion who can remind you of what is true about you and what is true about God.

Courage and awakening.

“I dare you to move,” sings Jon Foreman. “I dare you to lift yourself up off by the floor…”

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

growing the soul

Let the Spirit of God in you speak these words, perhaps every day: Yes, I really am beloved! God really is on my side, loving me, fighting for me, providing for me. I can risk caring again. I will wake up from this soul-sleep and feel again. I will fall fearless into Love.

serving the world

If your soul is in a good place, receive the gift of presence—and share it with someone whose eyes are dim. Help them remember. Pray remembrance over our global acedia. Tell your redemption story.

takeaway

Revive. Remember. Return.