Obstruction.

A few days ago I was lying in bed, getting ready to go to sleep, and listening to my nightly devotional—a beautiful daily audio recording by a group of British Jesuits called “Pray As You Go.” I paused the recording in the middle to answer a question from Kellie and then tried to resume the recording. For some reason I couldn’t continue the recording and had to restart from the beginning. Argh.

The word of frustration that leapt from my mouth was, ah, impolite. And in that moment I didn’t even notice the phenomenal irony of cussing because my devotional practice was interrupted! I have a long-time feud with technology that doesn’t perform as it’s supposed to…but if I’m more honest, I just hate anything that gets in the way of my personal agenda and timetable. Whatever it is and whenever it arises, anger is my immediate response. It embarrasses me to admit it, but that’s the truth.

The next morning I was driving down to Greensboro, so I had two hours in the car to talk to God, and we were discussing the situation. Paul says that “it’s the kindness of God that leads us to repentance” (Romans 2:4), and in my experience the corrections of God come with tremendous gentleness and hope. And it was just like that: I suddenly saw with blazing clarity the white-knuckled attachment I have to my own will…and it grieved me. I deeply wanted to be free from the entrapment of such willfulness and the anger it inevitably breeds.

And a new prayer—words I have never before uttered to God—began to flow quietly from my lips as I drove. Obstruct me, Lord. Get in my way, Lord. Resist my imperial will! And don’t stop obstructing me until my heart truly changes, and I can easily yield to your will as it shows up in my circumstances. Help me trust you to complete your will in my life regardless of my own intuitive strategies.

The worship and communion I experienced throughout that car ride were absolutely precious…and I had a few simple tests over the drive to put it into practice. Slow drivers pulling out in front of me and the like.

But in the week since, it feels like all hell has broken loose!

Of course, it’s not the hell out there that’s the real problem; it’s the hell in here—my stubborn habits of resisting every obstacle and trying to power through every impediment! All it takes is two or three small hindrances in a row and my soul is awash in adrenaline, fists clenched, jaw clenched, ready for battle! But it’s a losing battle. Every time. Until I let go. Until I bow in humility and hoist the white flag of surrender. Sometimes it takes me minutes, sometimes hours, sometimes days.

Prayer is so devastatingly vulnerable. And if it’s not vulnerable, it may not actually be prayer.

Every year or two, another book is published offering us a fresh strategy for prayer. Often it’s described as a new way to extend our spiritual influence, flex our spiritual muscle, convince God to do what we want him to do…or what we think he should do. It’s a little disturbing to realize how quickly our ego can grasp hold of something that sounds really spiritual, only to find that it’s just another prop, once again, for our own agenda. The problem is probably less with the books on prayer and more with our human capacity for hijacking spiritual stuff to feel powerful and in control.

I find it oddly refreshing to know that “The Obstruction Prayer” will never sell. Its essence is fundamentally foreign to the ego; it runs counter to every human instinct. Where’s the appeal in that?

Truth is, we don’t really have to ask God to send us obstructions. Life will oblige us on that point readily enough. More days than not, impediments and obstacles are woven into the fabric of our schedules and to-do lists. The Obstruction Prayer is really a request for God to change the way we relate to obstacles. Honestly, it’s about changing the way we relate to life itself! God is ever and always more interested in the transformation of our internal character than the multiplication of our external successes, no matter how noble they may appear.

ThriveTip

So there you have it. If you’re tired of feeling frustrated, tired of getting mad, tired of fighting circumstances, join me in this prayer…

Obstruct me, O Lord

When I grasp after my own agenda, set an obstacle to block me.

When I insist upon my own timetable, set a barrier to slow me down.

Obstruct me, O Lord,

Break my attachments to my stubborn will.

Shatter my illusions of my own importance.

Obstruct me, O Lord,

Until I can receive the gift of what is.

Until I can delight in the choices of your heart.

Obstruct me, O Lord,

Train my heart in the freedom of acceptance.

Release my heart into the joy of surrender.

Let my soul be held in a pervasive trust

That you work all things together for good

Especially when I am met with impediments.

In your mercy, obstruct me, Precious Lord.

Takeaway

Unconditional surrender is the only path to freedom.