Boundaries.
Most of us know the experience of getting spread too wide and too thin—finding ourselves in a place of inner depletion where it feels like the grace has run dry. If you followed my sabbatical reports in October, then you’ll know my most recent experience of this…and no doubt you can name some of your own. In a very real sense, we have all experienced that kind of stretching this year where stresses that would have been fairly easy to adapt to and recover from in the past were amplified to overwhelming in the age of COVID.
Many of us carry an instinct to try to push against our boundaries and accomplish more…because that’s what society rewards. And that’s how we often feel a sense of worth. We live in a performance culture, wouldn’t you agree? Maybe it wasn’t much different in the first century, where God had to admonish Paul to stop “kicking against the goads” (Acts 26:14)—to stop pushing back on the boundaries God had set in place for him. If there is one message from 2020, it might be that, like Paul, it’s time to own our humanity in humility… and honor our boundaries by surrendering to these constraints.
And while it’s easy to chafe against our boundaries, God actually sets these up for our protection. And when it feels like the grace has run dry, well, it probably has! This is not a deficiency in the grace; it’s usually a transgression of the boundaries. I’ve been hanging out in a fresh translation of Psalm 16:6 this week, and it goes like this…
Within the boundaries you set for me there are nothing but pleasant places! What a delightful inheritance I have!
There are a number of profound implications in this exclamation from King David:
That God is the one who sets certain kinds of boundaries in our lives.
That when we stay within those boundaries, our experience is pleasant.
That when we move outside those boundaries, it’s not so pleasant.
That God’s intentions for our lives are incredibly good!
I’m allowing David a bit of poetic license to use some hyperbole when he says that our lives within God’s boundaries are “nothing but pleasant”; pain and loss are woven into the fabric of life in this realm, even when we are precisely where God wants us. At the same time, I think it’s possible to experience pain and loss that still fall within a larger recognition of the goodness of our divine inheritance in this world… and I explored that paradox in my recent post called Undisturbed. Life can be both hard and good at the same time.
But my takeaway from this psalm is that I often make life much harder than it needs to be by stepping outside God’s loving boundaries. Does that make sense? Can you relate to that idea?
When I talk about boundaries, I’m not talking about sin. Yes, those are obvious boundaries for our protection, but there are other, more personal and seasonal boundaries. Also designed for our protection. Let’s dig into that for a minute.
It’s my personal practice to take a retreat every January, and while I take many retreats in the course of a year, my New Year’s retreat is very specific. I am asking God for God’s perspective on my upcoming year: What is most important for my soul this year? What does God want to change in me? How does God want to use my gifts and calling this year? Where do I need to be investing more time and energy…or less? The time I spend listening to God’s answers, and then planning my year around that vision, allows me to enter into the year with confidence and expectation. (If you’d like to join me in this on January 10-12, click here.)
The basic drift of God’s direction for me last January had to do with tighter boundaries, a narrower focus. There were several new things I was wanting to lean into in 2020 that God was giving me a clear “no” around, as in “not yet,” and then COVID doubled down on that whole tightening theme, right? And where I got into trouble last summer, it came from not occupying the boundaries God was offering me.
When we step outside the kindness of God’s guardrails for our lives, grace is not available there. I don’t mean God’s love and help aren’t available, but I mean the “oil” that is meant to lubricate the machinery of our lives isn’t present in that place. That friction is part of God’s mercy to help us wake up to where we are and then reposition ourselves back into the flow of purpose. Paul’s experience of this truth in his personal journey helped him pen the same advice to us in Romans 2:4 where he says that it’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. That helps us recognize the boundaries and step back within the flow of provision and blessing.
As I look toward 2021, that is my question for God once again: What are the boundaries that will lead me into the pleasant places you most want for me? What are the activities and opportunities that might lead me outside what is pleasant and into striving…because I’d just as soon avoid those!
ThriveTip
I hope the application is obvious. Wouldn’t you want to know where the boundaries of blessing reside for you this year? Can we trust God to set those boundaries out of good intent rather than stinginess? Can we experience our “delightful inheritance” even within the confines of COVID? May our hearts declare a resounding Yes to each of these questions!
So what’s your next step in that direction? Take a moment to plan it now.
Takeaway
Boundaries are a form of love.