Ambulando.
Oh who my grief can mend!
Come, make the last surrender that I yearn for
and let there be an end
of messengers you send
who bring me other tidings than I burn for.
All those that haunt this spot
Recount your charm, and wound me worst of all
Babbling I know not what
Strange rapture, they recall,
Which leaves me stretched and dying where I fall.
~ St. John of the Cross
pentecost, week 6.
Often attributed to Saint Augustine, the Latin phrase solvitur ambulando translates as “It is solved by walking.” It reflects a powerful truth: Sometimes a problem that stymies all solutions of the intellect is best illuminated—and solved—through an embodied approach. There are certain knots that can only be untangled by physical application. Or sometimes, by actually walking. Even 500 miles.
Although Pentecost doesn’t arrive for another week, this will be my last post in this particular series, because of course, I will be walking. Kellie and I leave Tuesday for Spain where we begin a walking pilgrimage along the north coast that culminates at Santiago de Compostella, the alleged site of the burial of Saint James, the disciple who brought Christianity to the Iberian Peninsula in the first century. And although this journey is something I have dreamed of for a dozen years (since watching the epic movie The Way)… and we’re actually getting ready to hoist our packs and start this 1000-year-old path… I’m a little nervous.
Before I get into that, I want to let you know that I will not be posting real-time for the next six weeks. As fun as it would be to give you live updates from the Camino, I think I’m just supposed to be “in it” and let it have its way with me during this pilgrimage. I think that allowing The Way to work upon my soul during this time will allow me to participate more deeply in the journey and share deeper insights with you after my return. During these weeks, I will send you a series of posts from last year’s pilgrimage to the holy isle of Iona—a learning experience all its own.
So yes, I’m nervous about the trek. Not about the physical demands, which I imagine will be significant. Not really about where we stay or what we eat, which will be completely spontaneous. Not even about my high school Spanish, which is laughable. I’m nervous because I know what happens when I’m under stress: I’m cool, I’m cool, I’m cool… and then without warning I have a total meltdown! Seriously. There is some invisible line in the sand where the sensations of “hangry” and uncertainty and over-responsibility all intersect in an ugly way that I can’t quite seem to avoid. O wretched man…
Come, make the last surrender that I yearn for and let there be an end of messengers you send who bring me other tidings than I burn for.
Thus, a few questions haunt me…
Will I hit places where I don’t know what to do? (Undoubtably.)
Will I feel anxious and unprepared and stupid? (Almost certainly.)
Will I fume and cuss and make Kellie uncomfortable? (Yeah, probably.)
Will I completely ruin this possibly once-in-a-lifetime journey? (O God, I desperately hope not but who knows?)
Will my inevitable failures be redeemed by God’s mercies and Kellie’s forgiveness? (I’m counting on it.)
Ultimately, will walking the Camino help me… or bring greater grief? I guess I think it will help me, even if that help comes by way of stripping the tree bare of all its coping mechanisms and exposing the crusty bark. I think that is at least part of the gift of pilgrimage. Outside all our comforts and securities and masks is where our real self shows up—in all its loving glory and all its fearful reactivity. In other words, spaces like these are an essential part of our journey to “the last surrender.”
And you don’t have to cross an ocean to enter into your very own pilgrimage. I dream of coming back to some of these historically sacred sites with a group of you to experience them together, but in the meantime, I invite you to step into your own version of this now. What would it take for you to engage your own solvitur ambulando? To leave behind your familiar predictability and try something that would test you a bit? Something physical. Something conscious. Something just a little bit beyond your natural resources. Are you game?
growing your soul
If you could solve one thing in your life right now, what would it be? How might you apply the wisdom of solvitur ambulando?
serving our world
Is there someone you could invite into your solvitur ambulando so they could have the chance to solve something in their world?
takeaway
Walk it Out.