Awe.
Awe enables us to see in the world intimations of the divine, to sense in small things the beginning of infinite significance, to sense the ultimate in the common and the simple, to feel in the rush of the passing the stillness of the eternal.
~ Abraham Joshua Heschel
lent 7. From fear to awe
Palm Sunday. That moment when cheers and exuberance rang. Jesus welcomed and adored as Messiah. Oh so very briefly.
Then Gethsemane. Sweat like blood. Betrayal with a kiss. Friends scatter in fright. And then several days of interrogation and abuse. Was this really the reward of faithful love and redemptive presence? The injustice, the wrongness is staggering. Feels like a gut punch.
I experienced my own small injustice today, which pales in comparison… yet it remains a visceral point of contact for me with the One who dove deep into the bowels of heartless power. It started with a voicemail—the Watauga County sheriff’s department wanting a callback. That can’t be good. Especially when I’m in Europe. I had missed a jury summons, he said. Two citations issued. Criminal charges could be avoided if I followed the guidelines and posted bond.
The pitch was impeccable—the background office noise, the pauses while he made me wait, the clipped coldly polite tone of law enforcement. I have a pretty keen nose for the fishy and phony, but he played me like a pro and I never doubted him. Bond must be posted immediately, $1000 to a PayPal account. Looking back, I can’t believe that I believed him. For 40 minutes he worked me, but in the end I wouldn’t pay because I couldn’t verify his identity. He threatened that non-payment would result in criminal charges; talking to my attorney would result in criminal charges. My phone would be pinged, and in an hour I would be arrested to spend the night in a Spanish jail. Seriously.
And I believed him. But mercifully I did not pay.
I was literally shaking when I tried to call my attorney. No answer. I reached Kellie, and she assured me I was being scammed. I wanted to believe it, but I was still waiting for the knock on my door. How can people be so evil? So heartless to prey upon the innocent? I don’t really know… but Jesus knows all too well. It took about an hour for my heart rate to slow and to begin to believe that I was safe. I had dodged the bullet. I would be okay.
Did Jesus panic in the garden of Gethsemane? What he faced was real, not a scam. But was he afraid? The gospels use words like “distressed,” “troubled,” and “overwhelmed.” He knew that suffering lay ahead for him, and no one can easily shrug that off. But I think that what really sustained him in that valley of the shadow of death was something akin to fear, but substantially different: Awe.
The “fear of the Lord” was an expression used often in the Old Testament (and once in the New Testament) to describe the appropriate response to God’s greatness and power, but even in the book of Proverbs where it is most prevalent, the context does not evoke what we think of as fear, as one would respond to an intimidating threat. As if God were someone to be terrified of (as evangelists have often preyed upon). Instead, the context evokes respect, reverence, and alignment. As in “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”
While Jesus was deservedly afraid of the path that lay before him, he was not afraid of God. He knew that God was only good and loving, not a threat to kowtow to. No, what sustained him in his dark night of the soul was the glorious gravitas of Awe. He recognized that he was part of a much bigger story with much more profound implications. He knew that he would not be overcome by evil, but that he would overcome evil with good. That great suffering sustained with great love is always a catalyst for utter transformation. Yes, Jesus was in awe of how God’s redemptive wisdom operates covertly and powerfully in ways that appear foolish and weak and tragic.
In our own “dark nights,” the hopeful fearlessness of awe is also our superpower. No matter what injustices confront us, no matter how terrifying the conditions, goodness will prevail.
growing your soul
When was the last time you felt truly afraid? What would it take, in moments like that, to step into an all-encompassing Awe that transcends threat?
serving our world
When it comes to dealing with the public, even “authorities,” trust… but verify.
takeaway
Fear not.
soak
This week’s chant invites us to move beyond the intimidation of earthquake, storm, and fire to find the awesome Whisper…