Questions.
Thought-provoking questions are keys for opening the door to a deeper life with God. Like true guides, they may not give us immediate answers, but they enable us to identify and face unknown or unresolved aspects of our spiritual life. If we are to grow, we must also be willing to ask penetrating questions of our deepest self and be ready to give them due attention.
~ Joyce Rupp
lent 2. From answers to questions
I finished a siding repair yesterday at one of our rental properties. Together with my colleague Ethan we tore off rotted siding, sheathing, and trim and replaced it with new materials. A relatively straightforward project, but lots of details. The way my brain is wired, I tend to churn on the details.
I run them over and over in my head, turning them around endlessly. Especially at night when I should be sleeping. Tonight, even though the project is already finished, I was replaying it in my mind wondering why my trim board cut was 1/4 inch off (a very small question)… and suddenly I knew, lying there in bed at 3am (and writing about it at 4am). I won’t bore you with the answer. The good part is that I solve a lot of problems in the wee hours as my semi-conscious brain chews on problems; the bad part is that I’m not sleeping!
Turning over in bed and snugging up my covers, I knew I was leading a retreat this coming weekend—another “project” with lots of details—and didn’t really want to start chewing on a whole new set of issues, so I began to ponder a much larger question: Is there another way for me to manage projects? Even though my default is to churn on the details, could there be another way? Now that’s a formational question.
When I became a professional coach twenty years ago, I learned that even though my clients are looking for answers, the real power for growth comes in learning to ask the right question… and then stay with that question without rushing to grab hold of the first answer that presents itself. If you are around young children, you know that this is another childlike quality.
Why do I have to go to bed now? Why do you hold your fork that way? Why does Karen have two mommies? Why did Granddad die? What happens when you die? The curiosity is endless, and the rate of learning is immense. Now that we’re grownups, we get decidedly less curious and think that we have all the answers. When we don’t have an answer, we push and strive in our anxiety to procure one as quickly as possible. Even if it’s not the best one.
The secret to growing in wisdom is learning to hold onto our questions more patiently, more curiously, and more securely. Questions truly are our teachers.
As we enter more deeply into the liminal space of Lent, what would it be like to look for the most timely question. Here’s one that I’ve holding recently: What is it too soon for, what is it too late for, and what is it just the right time for? (A very powerful question from Dawna Markova in her book, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life.) If that’s relevant for you right now, you can hold it too! Questions tend to open new doors of possibility… but only if we stay with them and don’t rush their formative work in our souls.
I’m still wondering about my earlier question—the one about how I manage projects—and I don’t have an answer yet. Which is fine by me. The longer I hold it, the more insights will likely appear. But maybe I can hold it tomorrow; my bed is calling me back now!
growing your soul
What’s the biggest question that your life wants to ask you right now?
serving our world
Who will benefit from the wisdom that question wants to bestow? (Answer: everyone.)
takeaway
Embrace the question.
soak
This week’s chant invites us to let go of the “sleep” of answers for the “awakening” of questions…