Recover.
Freely and Lightly series, #6.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
~ Matthew 11:28-30 msg
I have a complicated relationship with time. See if any of this sounds familiar to you…
I spend a lot of time managing my calendar.
I often find myself trying to fill every block in my calendar with activity.
I feel driven to try to get as much done as possible.
I often feel anxious that I’m not using my time to best advantage.
I periodically re-structure my approach to time management to try to “get it right.”
I’m often late to appointments because I’m trying to fit in one more thing.
When I’ve had a productive day, I feel approved and worthy.
In this zone, I find it hard to relax, be still, notice beauty, or savor quiet moments.
Anything there resonate for you? Even though I work hard to moderate the influence of these voices, I know them very well. Last summer my busyness and stress led me to burnout (you can read that story here), but God gently and graciously renewed my soul during some time away by myself. Rhythms of retreat and sabbatical have become an essential practice for my spiritual and emotional journey: sometimes to repair burnout, more often to prevent it. Here are a couple things I’ve learned about time.
The virtue of our preoccupation with time is an admirable motivation to live purposefully, to “number our days” as the Psalmist said, or to “make the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” as we read in Ephesians. Virtue is Godward, connecting our sense of time with our sense of God’s presence and leading. This is precious and holy, bringing life to ourselves and to others. My bullet points above, however, describe a very different posture in relationship to time.
This other posture is me-ward. Self-centered. Self-seeking. The vice of our preoccupation with time shows up many ways: trying to earn our sense of worth, fearing lack of spiritual guidance, inflating our own importance, striving to control our environment…experiences of this sort. It’s very human, so if you relate to these proclivities, as I do, you don’t need to beat yourself up. Instead, let’s simply respond together to these words from Jesus: “Get away with me…and you’ll recover your life!” Oh yes, Lord, that is my heart’s great desire! There are definitely some things I need to recover.
The word recovery is often used in connection with addiction. Urgency, worry, distraction—these misuses of time form a kind of addiction. And like all addictions, they feed our legitimate needs for approval, security, and empowerment in illegitimate, unsatisfying ways. They over-promise and under-deliver. In the midst of those deceptions, God offers to lead us into the freedom of living Freely & Lightly.
What is God’s idea of recovery? Here are a few points I’m musing on these days.
It seems to me that recovery begins with renewing our awareness of God’s heart. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full, Jesus says in John 10:10. Do we believe God wants our lives to overflow with goodness and abundance? This is hugely-promising…but not over-promising. There is no measure of goodness that God does not want for us; we can trust this.
The next step I’m thinking involves right-sizing our relationship with our own heart. Another insight from Jesus: Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it (Mt 10:39). Striving to “find our lives” makes time a tyrant and us its anxious, driven minions. Surrendering our lives in trust of God’s care and provision, on the other hand, cuts right through that addictive compulsion. God calls this kind of recovery humility.
From this centered place, we can be reaffirmed in our personal identity and calling. Yes, Lord, I remember who I am… I am your Beloved. I am secure in this place, so I can engage the work you’ve called me to with faithfulness rather than drivenness, with joy instead of fear, and I can stop and rest without shame. Sounds like recovery to me!
I find myself wondering how God sees time. Certainly, time is God’s servant and not God’s master. I imagine that God occupies an eternal present within all of time as we know it, that God stands outside of time yet fully within it. That God is never anxious about time even when good things are delayed and evil things allowed. If your head is starting to explode about now, then I think you’re doing it right.Truly, time is a mystery to us, and God’s place in it beyond reckoning.
Consider how time is playing out in your own life from 10,000 feet. You’re twice as old as you used to be. A generation or two above you is starting to die while a generation or two below you is being born. Time gives and time takes away. And while every day moves us closer to the end of our run in this world, each day brings the priceless now with its many gifts and opportunities.
“Recovering my life,” to me, means the freedom to fully occupy my life. To not try to slow it down or speed it up, but to savor all that is with gratitude. To wake up to it and be fully present within it.
Contemplate
How would you describe your relationship with time… A congenial partnership? A harsh task-master? An enemy? A gift? A necessary evil? A stage?
What would have to change, or at least shift, for you to occupy your life today with maximum presence?
Takeaway
Be all here.