Upward. 2

Falling

The second in a series of posts inspired by our current Book Circle on Falling Upward: A Spirituality for The Two Halves of Life, by Richard Rohr. This book has had a profound influence on my understanding of the spiritual journey. I hope you find it equally helpful. You can see the previous post here.

Falling. It’s not a good feeling. Falling usually involves pain. We have nightmares about it. It’s so out of control, so frightening, so powerless.

And so very, very necessary.

We can’t learn to walk without it. Can’t learn to ride a bike without it. A good deal of our life lessons seem to come from doing things wrong before we learn to do them better. Growing up emotionally and spiritually requires many rounds of micro-falls as well as, seemingly, at least one major macro-fall: a blow capable of dismantling the rules and identities we over-associated with in the first half of life. And if not dismantling, at least seriously questioning.

Loss of a job, loss of a marriage, loss of health, loss of a loved one—It is generally circumstances of this magnitude that precipitate invitation into the second half of life. The inner disorientation, disappointment, and disillusionment are often as painful as the external event itself, but this is what it seems to take to dislodge us from the comfort zone of first-half certainties in preparation for the risks of another whole dimension, a truer and more promising life.

For me, it was the long, slow, excruciating death of a business and a dream. My transition between halves occurred gradually over about a decade… and I still feel parts of myself continuing to shift in this direction. Would I choose it all over again? Honestly, I’m not sure. I would not willingly undergo that degree and duration of doubt and fear again, but at the same time I am grateful beyond words for the new inner world I am increasingly occupying these days.

I actually think it is the grace of God that “paints us into a corner” and allows the pain-of-staying-the-same to exceed the pain-of-changing… so that we are “forced” to move into and through that which scares us most. It’s always a choice, and it’s possible to stubbornly hold onto our homeland instead of launching out into new territory. But that holding on comes at great cost: the cost of our True Selves, our True Calling, and the world’s True Healing.

Abraham had to leave his father’s house. David had to leave his father’s house. Jesus had to leave his father’s house. Jesus even required his disciples to leave their homes and venture out without the security of money or even a second shirt! Make no mistake, we cannot enter our destiny without a painful leaving of some kind.

growing the soul

Do you relate to the idea of falling or leaving? Can you point to a major upheaval in your life that has fundamentally changed the way you inhabit your life? And that the new place it led you has been good at a whole new level than before?

serving the world

How has falling increased your compassion for the suffering, your solidarity with the marginalized, and your capacity to serve needs of others?

takeaway

Let go of your securities.