Limbic.
Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words.
~ attributed to Saint Francis of Assissi
pilgrimage 6.
Kellie and I each have dear friends who are currently going through immensely distressing situations with teenage children. The situations are complex, the solutions veiled, the suffering palpable. We have no practical ways to help and no real wisdom to impart. What we do bring is Presence. And often, Presence is enough.
I capitalize Presence here because it’s not just physical presence or, in these cases, digital presence. It’s not just listening to a friend’s grief, although that is a powerful thing. It’s not even offering words of comfort or care, although that too is precious. Presence includes listening and comfort, but it contains two other essential ingredients that only flow from a soul deeply rooted in contemplative practice and skilled in the art of soulcare. These qualities are gravitas and limbic regulation.
If you’ve read my book Gravitas, then you’ll know what that’s all about. If you haven’t, let me know and I’ll send you a copy of “Monkish”—a condensation—once I’m back from travels. In short, spiritual gravitas is the felt weightiness or substance of spirit carried by those who are intimate with Jesus (see Acts 4:13). Limbic regulation is similar but different.
Every human has what science now understands as three brains—the brain stem, often called the reptilian brain; the limbic brain, often called the mammalian brain; and the neo-cortex, often called the primate brain. (For a fascinating read on how these three brains affect relationships, try A General Theory of Love.) The reptilian brain manages our basic physical instincts and is oriented around survival and reproduction. The primate brain manages our higher mental faculties of reasoning and communication. But it is our limbic brain that allows for connection, affection, and intimate community. It’s what we metaphorically call the heart, and this is the most valuable gift we can possibly give another person. Or God.
Although every person has a limbic system, we do not carry equal capacities in what we can offer or receive here. These capacities are either devalued and neglected or prioritized and cultivated. Empathy, compassion, and indeed love itself are not birthed in the human heart full-grown; they are seeded into us to be actively, consciously developed. When they are developed, we discover an incredible reality—that a well-regulated limbic system in one person deeply affects the biological regulation of another person’s limbic system, actually drawing that person out of distress and into peaceful synchronization with the stronger, well-regulated person. Science now helps us understand what spiritually intuitive people have known all along: that a psychospiritually grounded Presence is a powerful force for healing others. In a word, this is soulcare.
For those of us called into the sacred stewardship of souls, this is your “superpower.” And it’s available at one level to anyone who values and invests in its cultivation. Biblically, this is the spiritual gift of encouragement, literally to “give heart" (cor is Latin for heart). To the extent that we do the spiritual work of managing our own hearts (dying to our false selves and participating in the resurrection of our true selves), to that extent we are empowered to extend our limbic regulation to salve the troubled hearts of others.
As Kellie and I move toward the terminus of the Camino, I expect we will have collected a whole set of “limbic souvenirs”—precious stories and memories of those we have been able to extend this gift towards… and perhaps have also received from others.
growing your soul
Do you want to grow your limbic capacity? Before it’s a gift to anyone else, it’s a gift to yourself.
serving our world
What will you do to develop this gift so that you can offer it to others?
takeaway
Take Heart.