Trauma.
Under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. We have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. We have never seen a totally sane human being.
~ Robert Anton Wilson
stages of healing, 1.
Walking wounded. Sounds melodramatic, but I don’t think it is. Few of us have fully come to terms with the injuries we sustained in the formative years of childhood, much less the wounds of adulthood. And until we do, we simply cannot heal. We carry our injuries with us and inevitably inflict them on others. As the saying goes, Hurt people hurt people.
I admit that the exploration of soul injuries comes with its own hazards. We risk becoming preoccupied with our hurts and adopting a victim mentality. But the risks of avoidance are higher, and in truth, epidemic. As one called to the ministry of spiritual healing, I am deeply vested in understanding the path we must all take to become healthy and whole.* So I invite you into this exploration with me in the hope that some of these insights will aid you in your own healing journey.
My particular focus is upon the injuries sustained in our faith communities. These are inevitable because all circles of community are fundamentally human and complicated. Kellie and I walk with many who have been wounded in church, and some get stuck there. Sometimes I have gotten stuck there. But it’s deeply important that we not get stuck there! Thus my impetus to explore the process of healing, which I’m outlining this way:
Trauma - the state of being psychospiritually injured without knowing it.
Triage - the process of recognizing injury and grappling with our losses.
Treatment - the process of uncovering reality and reorienting our inner world.
Rehab - the process of embracing forgiveness and freedom.
Med School - for some, the process of becoming a “wounded healer” of others.
In this first stage, we have to acknowledge that there are no uninjured humans. By both omission and commission, we have each lost parts of ourselves to neglect, ignorance, and downright maliciousness. None of our parents have been able to give us all we most deeply need… and those of us who are parents ourselves perpetuate that same cycle in some degree. Friends, strangers, lovers, colleagues—all of them disappoint us and worse. This is the tragic nature of living on planet earth.
But all is not lost! Our human sufferings set the stage for divine encounters and transformations. This is not just Good News, this is Great News!
Yet these redemptions are not available to us until we first name and grieve our losses. This is where most humans get trapped: We either recognize our injuries and enter the vicious cycle of victimhood and bitterness where identity itself becomes mired in the injustice of it all… or we become practiced in the art of denial that cannot countenance the pain of this earthly sojourn. This second option is perhaps more practically functional, but it is also more spiritually bankrupt. We cannot thrive without connection to reality.
You and I have been traumatized, intentionally and unintentionally by others. And even in some sense by ourselves. Wounds are real, inevitable, and can either destroy us or transform us. Jesus is the Great Example of this truth. Join me in this series as we explore the stages of healing to move beyond the defining brand of trauma towards the unexpected wonder of redemption!
growing your soul
Where do you find yourself between the polarities of morose despair and perky pretense? What’s the next step for you?
serving our world
How do both unfettered pessimism and unwarranted optimism cripple us from coming alongside others redemptively?
takeaway
Own it, but don’t drown in it.
*To state the obvious, I am neither a medical doctor nor a psychotherapist. Instead, I write and minister as a pastor, a spiritual director, a professional coach, and a theologian. Nothing in this blog series should be construed as psychiatric advice nor substitute for professional medical care around the experience of trauma.