Weakness.
We don’t come to God by doing it right…. We come to God by doing it wrong…. I believe this is why Christianity has as its central symbol of transformation a naked, bleeding man who is the picture of failing, losing, and dying, yet who is really winning—and revealing the secret pattern to those who will join him there.
~ Richard Rohr
rooted, 5.
I’m sitting in the cabin above right now for my regular personal retreat weekend. Sometimes I “skip” off to retreat feeling on top of the world. Not this time.
Beautiful though my surroundings, I feel weary, lost, and a bit depressed. (Sorry, you were probably looking for some encouragement today… and we may yet get there.) When I read Richard Rohr’s words this morning, I felt heartened because I more often feel like I’m blundering than succeeding. Maybe you can relate. Is it supposed to be this hard? I often wonder. I look around and see other people succeeding wildly (and maybe undeservedly) while I wonder what I’ll be when I grow up. But I’m running out of time to grow up!
Maybe it’s time to “grow down.”
Maybe the journey that Jesus modeled for us isn’t about growing ministries and influence and social media followers. Maybe it’s about weakness and vulnerability. Maybe it’s about simple faithfulness. Or in the words of one successful friend, “doing the next right thing.” Could that be enough? Could that be success?
Kellie and I just turned in our draft doctoral projects—the culmination of three years (more, really) of dreaming and working and researching and writing. Now we’re almost at the finish line… Why am I not jubilant? This should be a success of sorts. But I mean, really, being able to put Dr. in front of your name is a nice ego bump, but does anyone else really care? In a word, no. Thankfully, I can honestly say that the last three years of this learning community have been some of the richest in my life, and for that I will always be profoundly grateful.
Back to the “growing down” idea.
I don’t know if you’ve ever read any of George MacDonald’s novels. A defining theological and literary influence upon such notables as Lewis Carroll, C.S. Lewis, JRR Tolkien, and Madeleine L’Engle, MacDonald spun prolific tales from his native Scotland where the free-spirited whimsy and mystery of his Celtic roots had been all but squashed by a severe Presbyterianism. In both fiction and nonfiction, MacDonald pushed back on this harsh, authoritative view of God mirrored the clergy of his day. Instead, the God he saw in Jesus was gentle, unassuming, welcoming. The heroes in his stories were not the ones with money and power and religious authority; no, they were the simple old gardener, the disabled, the weak in the eyes of the world. In them he captured the essence of the upside down values of God’s kingdom.
Well, if my retreat serves only to remind me that failure and weakness and doing it “wrong” puts me in the company of Jesus and his friends, maybe this is time well spent. Maybe the obscurity and smallness of my life, sustained by a modicum of faithful love and service, is truly enough. In the context of our series on Rootedness, I am reminded that a tree is not supported and sustained by gripping fiercely at the ground but rather by being held by the rock and soil itself. On this snowy day I content myself with being ever in the loving, caring hand of God… right beside you.
growing your soul
In what condition is your soul today? How can you receive some soul-care from the Shepherd today?
serving our world
Serving the world begins with serving your own soul.
takeaway
Be Weak. Be held.